maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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