Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
