Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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