So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
