In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it's like iHOP with fire
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
