No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
