Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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