It's Friday. Sex?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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