If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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