You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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