Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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