i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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