you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
