bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.