so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species