ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.