That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
