remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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