how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
