Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
