you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
