The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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