Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
