For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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