Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
