No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
either way he was missing a nipple.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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