Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize