I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
