you guys were way drunker than both of me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
