ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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