yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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