RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
