You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
