Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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