We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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