I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
