If that was your dad, he is hot
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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