Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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