i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i will never coherently bang her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
