I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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