8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
