I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
