So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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