How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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