a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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