Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
