every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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