he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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