Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
