honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
