You work out of a Hotel?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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