Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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