I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
