So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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