Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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