He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
