I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize