New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
